At 36 months of age, 92% of children are napping one nap/day. 80% of children who nap are napping between 1.5-2.5 hours.
Napping is less influenced by genetics than parenting practices.
Marc
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child
Weissbluth Method Infant Nap App.
February 10, 2012 at 7:33 pm |
Oh please help me! My 33mo son suddenly started refusing to stay down when put down for his nap and bedtime yesterday(12:45pm and 6:15pm, respectively). We made a sleep rules poster today and after putting him back in bed (silent return to sleep) about every 8 seconds for the past 25 minutes and unplugging his lamp, it seems that he has finally gotten the message and is staying down for his nap. My main concern is this: how can I tell if I am forcing him to take a nap he needs, or if I am forcing him to stay in bed and try to nep when he has outgrown the need for it? His naps suddenly began shortening a month or so ago (from a solid 2-2.5 hr nap to a 1.25-1.5 hr nap), which he seemed to take in stride, so I figured he was just starting to outgrow his naps. He totally skipped his nap yesterday (for the first time ever) because I was too shocked at his behavior to respond appropriately and therefore he was yawning at 4:30pm (although that didn’t keep him from popping out of bed when I put him down at 6:00….the earliest I could managed that day). How will I know when he can transition from napping each day, to just having some quiet time? I am resolved to silently put him back in bed as many times as necessary at night, but the naptime is very hard for me because I am afraid I am asking him to do something of which he is not capable. Any tips on how to recognize the transition to dropping the nap and how to navigate that transition? I am not eager for him to stop napping, but I feel terrible shoving him back in bed if he can’t go to sleep because he doesn’t need to anymore.
February 11, 2012 at 4:18 pm |
Unless you have some other reason to think he doesn’t need a nap anymore, I would consider this to be an issue of not staying in bed rather than not needing a nap. I say that mainly because he is not even three yet (though close, I know). Some kids do give up the nap around three but many, many kids nap at least some days long past three.
When his naps “suddenly” shortened, was there anything involved in that? A vacation, a move to later bedtime, a few skipped naps because of visitors? It is perfectly normal for naps to become shorter, but it is a little curious that they dropped by an hour all at once. Did you start putting him to bed a little earlier when his naps got shorter? Again, sleep times drop gradually as they get older, but it is odd to suddenly not need an hour of sleep. Is there any chance that this new behavior is caused by being overtired? Sometimes it can take weeks for the loss of sleep to build up to the point of causing problems.
February 12, 2012 at 4:43 pm
Thanks for your input, Andrea! I agree that it seems like he should still need a nap! I, too, have been wondering if something besides age caused his naps to start shortening, but it is hard for me to put my finger on a cause. We are extremely consistent with naptimes and bedtimes and have not had any disruptions (vacations, etc.) lately. The only recent change has been a slight bedtime shift. He went to bed at 5:30pm from 6mo to a little over 2yo, and then when we started having very early (pre-5am) wakeups, we successfully shifted his bedtime to 6pm (nap at 12:30). Several months later, he started not seeming as tired around his nap/bedtime (not amped-up…just awake), so we gradually shifted him back by another 15 minutes to 12:45/6:15. As soon as his naps started shortening, I put him right back at 12:30/6pm for a week or so, but it did nothing to improve his naps and he was staying awake in bed until at least 6:30 anyway, so we just stuck with the 12:45/6:15 routine. Can 15 minutes really make that much of a difference in a child of this age? I watch him closely for signs of tiredness between 4-6pm, but he’s not really giving me much to go on. He is active, but not what I would classify as revved up enough to indicate overtiredness. He recently started giving me a little resistance to laying down for a nap, but again, it seems like perfectly normal “I’d rather keep playing” behavior. What do you think?
February 12, 2012 at 4:47 pm
Oh, and an update on the Sleep Rules progress……he has not yet made it through a nap/bedtime without getting out of bed, but we did have a partial victory yesterday. I laid him down for his nap, he got up moments later and popped his door open, but then we heard him whisper the rules to himself and he put himself back to bed! We decided to give a partial reward for partial compliance, so he got a treat, but still no show (he likes to watch 15 min of TV after breakfast and supper). He did the same thing at bed last night, but then did actually come out of his room and have to be put back in bed, so no reward this morning. We are going to try again at naptime. Also, yesterday morning he was up at 4:20am coming in our room for every reason he could dream up, but this morning he slept until almost 6am and staying in bed until I turned on our light just after 6am, so that’s progress!
February 12, 2012 at 9:18 pm
Absolutely!
Marc
February 8, 2012 at 1:34 am |
I have a 28-month-old who was sleep trained by 6 months. It took quite a battle for him to sleep in his crib at nap time, but it worked. He was doing perfectly for the longest time until recently. I know he may be growing out of his afternoon nap, but he wants to be rocked to bed all the time. It seems like we regressed to the 6-month phase again. Should we do extinction again or could it be teething? Thanks!
February 7, 2012 at 6:45 pm |
My daughter turns 3 next month and is beginning to transition away from daily napping. She naps a few times a week. Most times in order to get a nap, I have to wake her by a certain time in the morning…7 at the latest. On her own, she will sometimes sleep as last at 8 p.m. Similarly, her nap needs to be limited in order to protect an 8:00 bedtime. On non-nap days, she used to go to bed at 7:00, but I’ve bumped that up to 6:30 because non-nap days are starting to increase in frequency.
If I did not wake her in the morning by a certain time or require her to try to lay down and nap, I think she would naturally sleep 6:30 pm – 7:30 a.m. on most days. At least this is what happens when there are several days of non-napping in a row.
My question for those of you who have been through this transition before is: is it better to “manage” her sleep in order to preserve the nap? Or should I just let her natural rhythms take over and let the nap drop? Is this too much irregularity in a schedule – some days a nap and other days not?
February 7, 2012 at 6:46 pm |
Oops, my first paragraph should say “On her own, she will sometimes sleep as LATE as 8 A.M.”
November 14, 2011 at 7:57 pm |
Hello!
We have a 37 month old who has always been an early riser (5.30-6.00 am). She is still napping from 1pm-3pm every day (with the odd day where she resists, or sleeps less). Her bedtime is 7pm if she takes this nap to 3pm. If its a shorter nap, her bedtime is 6:30pm.
Our concern is that she has now started to wake earlier…she will remain in her bed until our day begins (6.10am a light in her room goes off). This morning she woke at 4:45 am and did not return to sleep.
I am wondering if her situation is similar to the situations described in some of these posts…she is taking a long nap due to a too early wake time…she may be going to sleep too late at night because she has a long nap. We have tried putting her to sleep around 6.30 on a long nap day and she won’t fall asleep then. Between 5.30-6.30 she is well rested…calm, happy, alert. However, I have noticed a change in her behaviour overall…more easily frusrated, and is more prone to tantrums.
Any suggestions on how to approach this? I’ve thought about shortening the nap, then trying for an earlier bedtime OR shooting for a later bedtime (i.e. 7.30pm) to see if she will sleep a little later. Any help would be great!
November 29, 2011 at 1:05 am |
Hi Kiersta – I find this to be a fascinating problem and hope you get some guidance from Dr. W. I have asked myself similar questions about my almost 2-year-old – is a later bedtime in order? Is there only so much sleep to go around in a 24-hr-period? It also seems like a lot of parents wonder, around age 3, when the nap might be interfering with night sleep. I might well be in this spot within a year, and would be curious to get some tips, too! (But hopefully you worked it all out and it isn’t a problem anymore…)
October 6, 2011 at 12:43 am |
Hi Dr. W:
My 39 months daughter is a great napper and night sleeper. She happily goes to bed at night but it takes her 1 to 1.5 hrs to fall asleep for couple of months now. She used to take a 2.5/3 hour nap from 12:30 to 3/3:30 but now she tends to wake earlier around 2:30 or I wake her up then. (This is also the nap schedule at her daycare.) Generally she falls asleep for her nap very quickly. Her bedtime is between 7:30/8:00 a bit later than it has been in the past. She wakes up at 6:50am (dimmed light on a timer) and only occasionally sleeps past this time. Unlike Wenmei’s son in the prior post, my daughter is in a good mood around 5:30-6:30 so I don’t think she is sleep deprived. What should my approach be?
Thanks,
Lucia
June 25, 2011 at 8:42 pm |
Hello,
My daughter is 38 months old and until about a week ago she was sleeping from 8pm – 7am, and taking a 2 hour nap from 1 -3. In the last week we have had a lot of night waking, usually at 12:30 each night. Sometimes she will go back to bed and fall asleep and other nights she could be up for 2 hours! She is also not taking naps as easily as before. Are we asking her to sleep too much? Is it time to give up the nap and get her an early bedtime? We also had a son about 8 weeks ago…not sure if that is related to the sleep problems we are experiencing. I appreciate any guidance. I love the book!
February 11, 2011 at 5:53 am |
My 39-month old son has always been a good sleeper, but his night sleep has gotten terrible over the past several months. He goes down for a nap easily every day at 1pm, and sleeps until at least 3pm (I wake him up if he’s still sleeping past 3:30pm). We put him to bed at his normal 7pm bedtime, and he stays up for HOURS (he’s still up right now, and it’s nearly 10pm). This started when we moved him into a twin bed in December, but back then it was the novelty of being able to get up and play with toys. Now he doesn’t even get out of bed — he just stays in bed and sings and talks to himself. He finally falls asleep around 9pm or 10pm, and then he’s up in the morning at 5:30am (he used to sleep until 7am). I have no idea what to do. Does this mean he’s ready to give up his daytime nap? (I can’t change his nap start time because he goes to preschool until 1pm.) Or is there something else I can do to help him sleep longer at night? We’re all exhausted — please help!
February 11, 2011 at 11:37 pm |
How does he look between 5:30-6:30PM?
Marc
February 11, 2011 at 11:59 pm
That’s when he starts to get a bit over-stimulated — running around the house, screeching. He used to sit quietly after his nap/snack and zone out listening to music (from about 3:30 – 4:30PM) and start to get more hyper as we got closer to dinner time (5PM). Now I make sure to do something active with him for at least 30 minutes after he wakes up, but it’s not really helping him fall asleep at night any better.
February 12, 2011 at 10:55 am
“Over-stimulated” = sleep deprivation. If his sleep tank is going empty then, what does this tell you about the time when he falls asleep at night?
Marc
February 12, 2011 at 3:16 pm
Does this mean he needs to go to bed even earlier than 7PM? Even though he takes a nap from 1-3PM (or 1:30-3:30PM on preschool days — 3 days a week)? I’m worried that he’s up too long in the morning, but I can’t move his nap b/c of preschool. Should I try putting him to bed at 6:30PM?
Here’s what I thought was going on: He’s taking too long of a nap during the day, which means he’s not tired at 7PM. He stays up way too late because of the late/long nap, which means he misses his natural night sleep window. He gets up early because he’s not getting good night sleep. Then he’s tired because he got up too early. This keeps cycling until he’s completely overtired yet unable to sleep at night.
So I thought the culprit was the late/long nap, and I wondered if it meant he’s ready to start dropping his nap (although I would prefer it if he continued to take a nap until he’s 18). Will putting him to bed earlier help him catch back up on his sleep and hopefully get back into a normal rhythm, even without changing his afternoon nap?
Thank you so much for your responses!
February 12, 2011 at 4:09 pm
I like your analysis. The long nap is partially compensating for a bed time that is too late and the long nap may interfere with a much earlier bedtime (which he needs). Go immediately to a 5:30-6:00 pm bedtime this weekend and for the next 3-5 nights and watch the nap shorten. Use extinction if needed. This might or might not backfire and cause him to wake up too early so after a week of this super early bedtime, you might decide that 6:00-6:30 is best. But for now, repay the sleep debt with a super early bedtime and erase the over-stimulated behavior which is not healthy for your son or for you.
Marc
February 12, 2011 at 9:28 pm
Thank you so much for your advice! I will start with the early bedtime right away. I appreciate your help!
February 13, 2011 at 1:33 pm
Please give us a detailed progress report regarding bedtimes, latency to sleep, mood and behavior near the end of the day, bedtime battles, night waking, morning wake-ups, naps and how you and your husband feel about making the changes in how you sleep him.
Marc
April 13, 2011 at 5:38 am
I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to update! I read through Deb’s experience (below) and I’m thinking that I will need to do what she did.
As per your advice, I did immediately start putting my son to bed at 5:30/6pm. That worked great for several days — he went to sleep almost instantly, slept until 6:15am, and seemed happier and more content overall. However, he continued to take a 2 hour nap, and his nap never shortened. Instead, after about a week of going to sleep easily, he started to take longer and longer to go to sleep at night. Now we are back to a 6:30pm bedtime with him falling asleep sometime around 7:30 or 8pm (sometimes later). He gets up at 6am.
I’ve told him that he doesn’t need to sleep during “quiet time” if he’s not tired, and he usually entertains himself for about 45 minutes. Just as I’m about to go in to get him, he falls asleep. I let him sleep until 3pm (about 1hr 15min).
Should I encourage him not to nap at all anymore? Like Deb, I’m a little reluctant to give up the midday nap (especially since he has a little sister who naps at the same time) but I will do what it takes to help him be well-rested.
April 13, 2011 at 1:52 pm
Hi Wenmei,
I had a similar experience. Completely getting rid of one nap is impossible for us to do all at once. He is at daycare for a full day twice a week, and he naps for 45 minutes most of the time, and on those days, he goes to bed around 8pm (but we put him in bed at around 7:30pm and he takes about a half hour to sleep). On days that he misses his nap, he is in bed just before 6pm, and sleeps for a full 1 hours. He still falls asleep 50% of the time during quiet time. We let him sleep knowing he will sleep later.
It’s really a guessing game at this age. I know he’s losing his nap, but he needs it sometimes so I let him nap. I know other moms who did the every other day nap routine until their kids were able to handle no naps more consistently. Things are MUCH better than before (rarely does it take him an hour or more to fall asleep).
Dr. W, will an inconsistent nap/bedtime schedule affect a 3 year old very negatively or is it better to read his cues and continue to have varying naps/bedtimes?
April 13, 2011 at 1:56 pm
Correction–sleeps a full 12 hours when in bed by 6…also, when he takes even a brief nap, he won’t fall asleep right away at 6pm–last time we tried, he was in his room for over 1.5 hours just playing. So it seems easiest for him to fall asleep at around 8pm if he naps.
March 8, 2011 at 6:31 pm |
Wenmei,
I am having a similar issue with my 36 month old. (daycare and all)
Please update with the results. I’d love to hear about your experience.
Thanks,
D.
March 8, 2011 at 11:44 pm
Dr. W,
On the first day with the 5:30-6pm, in the situation described by Wenmei, should his nap be shortened? If so, how long should it be?
Thanks so much,
D.
March 21, 2011 at 12:02 am |
I followed Dr. W’s advice and gave my 36 month old a super early bedtime (with the time change it was easy to give him a 6pm bedtime, as it felt like 5pm to him). He slept through the night until around 6:15am and was able to make it through the day without getting cranky.
At first, he continued to nap for about 2 hours (previously it was 3 hours), then the nap shortened again to 1.5 hours, THEN the nap was eliminated altogether.
It’s only been a couple of days withouth the nap, but here’s what I observed so far.
He has less night wakings (I thought he was waking at night to go potty, previously, but now he doesn’t wake for the entire night AND he does not wet his bed at night either).
He goes down without any problem (maybe 10 minutes–previously it took him about an hour to sleep).
He still gets a little drowsy during the day (car rides, it looks like he might nod off, but he ultimately doesn’t fall asleep in the car unless it is a very long ride ie: 45 minutes or more).
His temperment has improved (previously, I thought his crankiness was just because he was at a difficult age–although he still can be very will-full, he does not throw nearly as many tantrums during the day. Timeouts are a rarity now).
His focus and concentration has increased and his ability to play independently has improved.
All these changes were seen in the span of about 10 days. At first it was hard to get him to sleep early (down at 6, sleep by 7pm) but the more consistent we were with the early bedtime, the less resistence we experienced.
Although I will miss the mid-day nap, he’s still able to spend about 45 minutes in his room resting on his own, which is a good break for us.
THE SUPER EARLY BEDTIME WORKED FOR US!!
March 21, 2011 at 9:21 am
Congratulations!
Marc
January 22, 2011 at 8:38 pm |
Any advice? Our 31 month old daughter has never been a great napper but since her 2nd birthday, her daytime sleep has been getting worse. I was rocking her to sleep for naps until a few months ago when our second child arrived. Now, she rarely takes a nap. She is no longer in a crib. We leave her in her room for about 2 hours each day after a nap routine. She sings and plays with books in her room but does not go to sleep. She is grouchy much of the time and night waking and early waking is becoming a problem. We’re trying for an early bedtime and seeing some improvement with night sleep. We’d love for her to get the day time rest that she needs. Any advice would be appreciated- especially ideas that don’t involve us taking a nap with her since the new baby prevents that most days.
February 19, 2011 at 2:12 pm |
hi, amy! i could have written this post. have you made any progress? my 31m old son isn’t napping anymore since the baby was born. he’s still in a crib with a tent, so we pretty much zip him up for two hours. he just plays in there and even worse, sometimes takes off his diaper.. total nightmare. i’d love to hear if your daughter has resumed her naps. thanks
February 19, 2011 at 4:24 pm
Hi Elizabeth,
She does have quiet time everyday and does well with that. We’re using an earlier bedtime and that helps with the crankiness but a nap would be better. We tried rewards and consequences (taking away toys and giving them back if she napped). I thought this was working but her naps probably had more to do with her being sick. I think she may just be done with naps. She is out of her crib and just plays in her room for 2 hours. The diaper issue sounds awful. My niece used to do that during naps. Have you tried putting him in a footless sleeper with the zipper up the back? I hope you have more success that we did!
We had good naps for about two weeks and I thought we were back on track but then she recovered from her cold and hasn’t napped in several weeks again
January 14, 2011 at 9:05 am |
Hi! Love the “Healthy Sleep Habits…” book. Very helpful and realistic. Wish it was the ONLY book I read prior to having my first. I was so confused and frustrated those first few months. Thankfully our toddler (now 20 months) has been sleeping well for over a year now. It took some training, he was not an easy-going little guy.
In the past month though, he has had one or two naps a week where he doesn’t go down well and doesn’t sleep well. I have resorted to holding him a few times just to lengthen the nap so he isn’t miserable all afternoon. We were traveling quite a bit in December and had family in town so I attributed it to that but this week is our second week, “back to normal,” and he has still had nap issues twice. As I am eight months pregnant now, I feel like I have to figure this out.
Should I just not hold him ever to lengthen a nap? I felt like maybe I was putting him down a bit late (usually between 12:30 and 1) so I have been trying to put him down a bit earlier this week, not really helping. He wakes at about 6 – 6:30 in the morning and goes to bed around 6:30 or 6:45 in the evening. Sleeps all night, no problem. He has been extra clingy lately too and acting more like a two-year-old as he’s getting closer to those “terrible twos.”
I am so confused and feel like I am doing something wrong but WHAT??!! Anybody have any ideas?
Thanks,
Jana
January 13, 2011 at 3:00 am |
My 34 month old naps from between 13-13:30 to sometimes 16:30. On the days when he sleeps 3 hours can he go to bed as late as 20:30 or should I still put him to bed between 18:00-19:00? He wakes up between 6-7 regardless of when he goes down. He has no behavioral or any other issues. I also wonder if either Dr. Weissbluth has explored the Paleo diet/ lifestyle as presented by Dr. Loren Cordain or Robb Wolf of Univ. Colorodo?
January 12, 2011 at 2:10 pm |
Dr. Weissbluth – Have you done any research into what parenting practices have the most influence on napping at this age? Two things come to mind: the practice of consistently establishes naps up until this age and lifestyle choices that squeeze the naps out of the picture at 36 months. I guess it could be a mixture of both, but I was curious about what you’ve observed.
January 11, 2011 at 1:26 pm |
My 20 month old has been an inconsistent napper and wakes between 5:30 and 6:30am. I plan the nap about 5 hours after wake up. I plan bed about 4.5-5 hours after nap. If she naps on the shorter end, which is more the norm, bedtime is before 5:30. She usually sleeps 12+ hours on nights she goes to bed early – definitely making up for the lack of daytime sleep. For instance yesterday she napped only 1 hour, so she went down for bed at 5:11pm, fell asleep at 5:45pm, and woke this morning at 6:30am. Keeping her up “later” like past 6:30 seems to only make her wake earlier in the morning. Stimulation during wake time has had no bearing on the amount of time she’ll nap. Some days she’s super active in the AM and naps for a short time. Other active mornings she naps for 2+ hours. Same goes for less stimulation mornings – some naps are super short while others are super long. Same goes for wake time prenap. If she’s awake only 4.5, her nap might be long or short. If she’s awake 5+ the nap might be long or short – even if the previous mornings are identical in nature.
1. Does this all sound correct for her age?
2. Do the wake times sound okay?
3. Is it okay that every day is a bit different? Like nap isn’t always at the exact same time since I base it on her wake time and bed has a 1.5 hour time variation depending on the day (between 5-6:30pm).
3. Am I prepetuating her early wake up or is this just how she’s wired?
4. Any advice or something you see that you can help me tweak.
Many thanks. Also, thank you for teaching me about the early bedtime. I don’t think I ever would have thought of that on my own and it truly works. I have a healthy happy daughter who is a joy to be around and is well rested.
Very sincerely,
Laura W.